Hello, Poison Control

Yesterday I had to call poison control for the first time. I say first because all of my girlfriends insist there will be a second time...

If you are looking for customer service, for someone to tell you everything will be okay, or someone to tell you "don't worry this happens to everyone." Don't call poison control. If you are looking for someone to make you feel like an idiot for letting your 21 month old eat cold sore medicine, then dial away.

Yesterday (with our playgroup on the way to the house), Helen opened the door to our bathroom (which to be fair, I did know she was capable of doing), opened some cabinets, and pulled out some cold sore medicine. By the time I got to her, the cap was off, some was running down her chin, and her breath smelled a bit medicinal. Yikes. A quick Google to find the number for poison control and it was official, I am now one of "those" moms. A mom who lets her kid eat poison. Meanwhile, just as the phone was ringing, my playgroup arrives. Imagine welcoming people to your home with "come on in, make yourself at home, I'm just on the phone with poison control." Who wants to play at that mom's house?

This is a bit of how the conversation went:
Poison Control: Poison control. What is the problem?
Me: My 21 month old ate some cold sore med---
PC: What is the name of the medicine?
Me: Zilactin. I don't know how she got into it. I was feeding my new---
PC: How much does your 21 month old weigh?
Me: 27 pounds. I just don't know how she did it.
PC: How much did she eat?
Me: I'm not sure...there is still a lot---
PC (interrupting): Well, how big is the tube.
Me: 0.25 ounces. Again, there is still a good bit in---
PC (again, interrupting): How did she get into it?
Me (incredulous since I kept trying to explain): I was feeding my newborn and she stepped out of sight, opened the cabinet---
PC: Well, she'd have to eat 3 tubes of it for something to be wrong. Do you think she ate 3 tubes (spoken with attitude)?
Me: No, we only have one as far as I---
PC: What's her name?
Me: Helen
PC: Your zip code?
Me (C-R-A-P...thinking I am now on some weird poison mom list): *****
PC: Feed her lunch.
Me: What?
PC: Its fine to feed her lunch.
Me: Okay, well thank you. Is there anything I should be looking---
PC: No. She's fine.
Me: Thank you.
PC: Goodbye (hanging up).

Obviously if your child eats some poison, go ahead and call. But prepare yourself...you won't be coddled. No one will tell you that it happens to everyone and you are still a good mom. So I will say it...even though Helen ate cold sore medicine, she's okay. As it turns out, its happened to a lot of moms. A lot of good moms. But I'll say it again...I think its time we do some childproofing.