Two and Out

I'm done having kids. I'm so sure that I am really regretting not taking my doctor up on his permanent fix offer. As he, not so delicately put it, "you are having a c-section, its just staring me right in the face." He even offered to do it for free. Before having Patrick I was 99% sure that I only wanted two. It was that 1% that held me back. But now, I'm done. I'm sure of it. Its two and out for me.

I have a lot of reasons for being happy with my two. Maybe its because I came from a family of two. Maybe its because I have one of each and I don't want to upset the balance.

Some of my reasons are selfish. I want to close the book on the baby chapter of my life. I don't want to have a five year old and a newborn. I like to do everything in phases. This is the diaper phase of my life. When its over, I want it over. There will be a school phase, a college phase, etc. And then I will get to have my "second life" phase.

I don't want to be pregnant again. I hate being pregnant. I hate not being able to see my toes. I hate puking. I hate it when they have to move the scale past 150 pounds. I want them both in school so I can eventually go back to work one day. I love staying at home, but I really miss having a Blackberry.

With two kids, there will always be a buddy. No one will have to ride a roller coaster alone. No one will have to sleep on a trundle bed in a hotel. I love it that they are close in age. They will have similar interests. We can go to the movies as a family and entertain everyone.

I guess the real reason is that I just know my family is complete. I don't feel like there is another baby out there that I am supposed to meet. I just feel like we are done. I feel like Patrick completed us. And besides that, I want to play them man to man. Its tough being outnumbered. During the day when I have to play zone, I almost always lose.